Are you outgrowing your friends?
As we head into our late thirties, forties and fifties, it is common for us to have some long-term friends who we gathered from primary school, high school, university or our first jobs. But how often do we objectively examine these friendships?
This is not something we often think about, after all, you’ve known Michelle, Sue, Emily, Amy, or Tania for so many years — what is the purpose in examining old connections? With each year that passes, some people choose to grow, and others don’t. If you are on a path of personal growth and change, one day you may find that you’re no longer in alignment with some of your oldest friends.
The thought of letting go of old friendships can cause distress, sadness, disappointment, anger and many other feelings, especially if there is no defining moment that they did something terrible or unforgiveable.
All they did was choose not to grow — which is their right.
But what do you do when you’ve outgrown a friend? Be kind to yourself! Remind yourself that it’s ok to outgrow people who are not growing. It’s also okay to outgrow people who couldn't be bothered keeping up with you. Proximity is power so who are you hanging out with on a regular basis?
Recently, I chose to let two long-term friendships of over thirty years go, with love. This was not an easy decision. I found myself becoming upset with their life choices which always involved being unkind to themselves. This impacted on the quality of our time spent together. Rather than feeling uplifted after a social outing with both friends, I felt frustrated after seeing them.
With every decision they made, they constantly chose to be unkind to themselves. Observing this was painful to watch. Both friends always had a reason as to why they couldn't choose better for themselves, and were demonstrating a severe lack of self-love. Once I realised that we were no longer on the same vibration or path I made the decision to step back from those friendships. Neither of these people were willing to step into their power or even step towards loving themselves just a little.
Have you ever asked yourself whether you are still on the same path as your friends?
Once you have made the decision to let go of a friendship, it becomes easier. You will find yourself basking in more light. You’ll gravitate towards the ones who can see your worth and value and are on the same path of growth that you are. As soon as the decision is made, you will gravitate towards the ones who feel like sunshine.
There are often initial feelings of sadness and loss too, as we let our old habits go. Once we let go of the old however, there is room for positive, new connections to enter your life. And it eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation. We have to love ourselves enough to stop trying with some friends, when we have realised that they are not willing to grow with us.
Never Underestimate the Power of a Decision.
Once change is in motion — like magic, we attract new people that are on the same vibration as us, our pricelessness is valued, and time spent together is uplifting.
One day you will wake up and realise that you are no longer hurt or upset by the falling away of old friends. You may remember them fondly and wish them well in their journey of life … but keep looking forward on your new path towards creating the most awesome version of you possible!